Life's difficult moments

Lately, I have not been myself. I feel that I am slowly slipping away and pushing people away from me. I know that my inner demons are dealing with many things at one time but I can't quite put my hand and which of these demons is making me so frustrated with my life. I feel hopeless and useless and as if I am on cliff, ALONE, just waiting for the right moment to jump. In that moment that I jump, I fantasy that someone will catch me, no matter how long I have been falling for, but I feel that those hands will let me slip right through. It's not easy dealing with so much, and I am such in a slump when it comes to school. I'm losing my drive and the purpose of why I am studying. I feel that if I want to make a change and enjoy my life, I don't need book experience, I need hands on experience. I just don't know whats the whole point any more.

There is so much negativity in the world, and people are going through so much more than I am yet I feel so bad. I know that I have much to be thankful for yet I can't help but feel this way. Many people say that its the sophomore slump, and many people go through it...maybe...its just life. I want to change this and I want to be able to be someone better, but how do I fix it. How do I change all of it? I guess I'll figure it out eventually.

Importance

How important is being lectured when I learn more about my interest by actually being involved? I don't understand why school has to be so stressful and demending when in reality is not really preparing us for much. I mean what ever job I do end up doing, I know for sure it won't require 100 pages of reading per night.

I just want to make a difference. I want to have an impact on others. I want to set an example. Yet how do I go about these things? Especially when I feel as if everything I do is wrong. I try harder than I should, but its because I really want to change someone's life or perspective for the better. And not my better, but their idea of what is good or right for them.

Yet I find myself so eager to please others that I forget about pleasing myself, which often leaves me unhappy. Always thought that I would need someone in my life, such as a man to make me feel significant. But I have come to realize that I can make myself feel significant and I have my friends to help me do the same. I think they count more than any guy, no matter how bad I want to cuddle. lol :D

But that's besides the point. I mean I feel as many things we have to deal with in school are irrelevant to anything in our lives. And think we only have ONE life, and its not about all this money making angery corporate people junk. It's about real life, feelings, sincere happiness and love. What has the meaning of life changed so much?